Glee: 4.21: Wonder-ful
I pretty much died in my seat about the fact that the show’s opening scene, the set-up for the entire plotline, was such a half-assed segue that it completely forgot that Will had nothing to do with the Original Six singing Don’t Stop Believing.
He just did what he does best and creepered in on them reaching for the stars in that one signature move that always made me cringe.
Rachel uses this episode’s buzz word- wonderful- prompting the baby oil saturating Will’s hair to send little theme wizards down in the cavern that should house an adult brain. You can literally see Will’s thought process: Wonderful-> What a wonderful world!-> Stevie Wonder.-> WONDER-FUL.
This is some quality Whose Line shit right here.
Cue the rest of the Glee Club suddenly turning into a group of church kids who ‘praise’ and holler about singing songs that are older than I am. (No seriously, it’s canon for three characters- Artie, Mercedes and Santana- to say this. EVERYONE DOES IT IN THIS EPISODE, to the point where it becomes disingenuous.)
Kitty’s decided this is her week to be sweet and for a dude who didn’t want anyone to know he’s gotten into an amazing film school, Artie cracks without much brain power needed from her.
Then we come to Kurt and someone in the writers room remembering that Burt’s had cancer since Christmas and they’re all kind of bored of that so let’s resolve that storyline right now.
Kurt flips midterms the finger, deciding he has to be in Lima for his dad’s results.
Then he comments that he’s been feeling a ‘little OCD lately’.
I don’t trust Glee with this storyline at all. Two new characters who will be with us for the next two seasons at least had revealing storylines about being molested as children and there’s been nothing about that. Sue still works at a 23 Hours Fitness and everyone thinks she accidentally shot off a gun- TWICE.
GLEE. WHY DO YOU HAVE NO CONCEPT ON HOW SERIOUS ISSUES WORK?? YOU DON’T JUST CYCLE THROUGH THEM LIKE COLOURS ON A MOOD RING.
Kurt’s been stressed about a lot of things before- the bullying, every competition ever, his dad’s heart attack, NYADA, the break up. Just to name a few. He’s apparently developed OCD symptoms to help himself cope with the stress since his dad got sick and this is the first we’ve seen of it??
It’s acted well and…I’m not even sure how to say this but framed? well. Kurt only wearing light colours because he can’t deal with anything too close to black, him touching his nose at specific times, counting the sugar packets, freaking out at the colour of Burt’s shirt- it worked but it felt like someone added the sub-plot in on a whim and that Glee should be thankful every day that Chris Colfer knows how to act.
I’ve been told that Kurt’s at the age where you’d be on the look out for the development of mental illness, and if this were any other show it would be a fantastic character arc.
But it’s Glee. If we ever hear about it again, I’ll be surprised.
Back in Lima (I can’t get over how Kurt goes from the loft in NYC to Lima in the span of a voice over. Zoom zoom.) the reunion of Kurt/Mercedes/Mike for some reason also involves Blaine but not Artie. Or Tina. Or Sam. Or Joe. Or Sugar. Or Unique.
(On a side note, Brittany is touring MIT and Tina has veterinary school as a fall back. I’m torn between happiness that SOMEONE finally has a fallback plan and completely confusion because I don’t even think Tina likes animals?? Brittany’s the one who knows all about cat diseases.)
Blaine makes a stilted and forward comment about how Kurt looks cute but ~diiirty cute and while it’s not the creepest thing an ex-boyfriend has ever said to someone, Kurt looks like he’d rather chew tinfoil.
This is the couple Glee wants us to root for.
Or then again, maybe they don’t.
Kurt’s voice over lets us know he’s not hooking up with Blaine again and despite what I’m sure the shippers wanted to see, Kurt volleys between super stressed about his dad, happy to see his friends again and wildly uncomfortable with Blaine and anything related to their past relationship. He doesn’t like being reminded that they were a thing- that’s not the mindset of someone looking to get back together.
Yeah, I’m a Kadam shipper but the difference between Adam taking Kurt’s hand (the way Kurt lets him, opens up his fingers, holds on immediately) is worlds away from the way Blaine takes his hand (pulling it across the table, holding on when Kurt pulls back, his other hand coming up to cover Kurt’s- it’s constrictive).
Kurt’s put into a position where he’s either got to pull away and make a scene or take the offered comfort and feel awkward about it.
It doesn’t even come off as genuine comfort for the sake of comfort is the problem. Just two minutes before that, Blaine hits on Kurt. He’s one-by-one poking at every vulnerability Kurt’s got, looking for an in. (Even if it isn’t intentional.)
Hinting that you think Kurt’s hot enough to fuck isn’t the way to win back his trust (considering your inability to keep it in your pants was what broke the two of you up) even if this WAS the time to bring it up. Which it so very much isn’t.
I regret every wanting Tina to have more screen time. Using Tina as the fandom mouth-piece really only works if you understand why your fandom is saying that. Glee’s writing of all their female characters is problematic as hell 90% of the time, so tossing out a #GleeHatesGirls quip really only tells us that you’re aware of the complaints we have- you just don’t care.
It’s also really hard to like Tina when she’s attacking Mike for being able to dance (and coming back to Lima to help a Glee Club that’s at least half new to competition-level performance), Mercedes for offering singing advice to the new members (actual ADVICE about breath control and when to do a run! She doesn’t tell Tina or Unique how to sing because she knows they know and they don’t need the confidence boost) and Kurt for being around while his dad is sick.
Back in New York, a serious tragedy is happening. There’s a guest star that doesn’t think Rachel Berry is the Second Coming.
They slaughtered Cassandra July’s character.
I’ve always thought that Cassandra’s teaching methods were horrible and I really don’t understand how she’s still even at NYADA when she turns up hungover and is allowed to make discriminatory remarks at her students, but I loved that she didn’t fall at Rachel’s feet. She made her work for it.
Of course Glee can never balance a storyline properly and Cassandra goes from cruelly switching Rachel’s midterm to the next day (with the hardest ballet dance in history apparently) to throwing her a surprise party and getting the advanced dancers to carry her through her midterm.
Just to put into perspective how much Cassandra viciously disliked Rachel- she paid for Kurt and Rachel to fly back to Lima and then slept with the guy Rachel was casually dating just to mess with her. She used class time to stage a ‘dance-off’ just to show Rachel she’d never win the Winter Showcase because she wasn’t a talented dancer.
Rachel gave her a cane as a gift in this episode.
I almost wish this show had sci-fi. Then I could claim ‘pod people’ and be done with it.
I’m not sure what to think about Mercedes whenever they bring in her more religiously-inclined storylines. Like telling the mildly-devout Jewish kid he needs to stop wasting his God-given talent because the Bible said something about hide-n-seek in a bushel. (I seriously don’t know what she said omg.)
I wish we’d had more about Mercedes struggling to get herself out there in the music business in LA, besides a flashback and a one-sided phone call. That storyline happened so fast I don’t feel like I really felt anything about it?
Besides wanting to smack the guy who told her to lean forward with a mace to the face.
Burt, Carole and Kurt completely forgot they had another family member. If it was an attempt to not bring any attention to Cory’s absence, it kind of failed? I mean, it was all over the entertainment news and people were generally sympathetic to what he’s going through. I don’t think that cutting him out of a storyline that he’s a big part of did anything but make people wonder if the show even thinks Finn’s a worthwhile character.
Artie’s storyline should have had so much more development and should have been the main event along with Burt’s cancer remission. I hate so much that they had KATEY SEGAL and barely used her.
Blaine wanting to propose comes completely out of left field. Beyond a few failed passes at Kurt and those creepy, shiny doll-eyed glances that Darren thinks passes as acting like he’s in love, Blaine doesn’t seem all that passionate about Kurt. Does he suddenly want to celebrate marriage equality? Apparently so and Sam’s still straight.
Thankfully Burt Hummel seems to be the one character Glee refuses to throw under the bus. He is flat-out against it, even goes so far as to try and explain why it’s a bad idea and is patient as hell when Blaine proves he’s too immature to handle the massive commitment that is MARRIAGE.
Here’s the thing with his ~equality argument- just because you can? Doesn’t mean you should. This storyline just kind of craps all over all the hard work gone into the marriage equality movement.
He rolls his eyes when Burt brings up Rachel and Finn- who actually had more of a foundation for contemplating marriage than Kurt and Blaine do right now, and can I just express my disgust that he actually asked Burt for permission to marry Kurt? It’s not even completely about Glee putting Kurt into the role of the ‘woman’ in a non-relationship between two men- it’s about the fact that asking the father for someone’s hand is a throwback to the days when women were pretty much a property investment.
You don’t ask someone if you can marry their son, you ask if you can borrow their lawnmower or use their telephone. TO BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR. Personally, if I found out my SO had asked my father for permission to marry me, it would be a flashing sign for me to say no.
Finally Blaine asks what happens if Kurt finds someone else and honestly? To me, that sounds like Blaine doesn’t have any trust in Kurt being away in New York unless he’s got a ring on his finger. He hasn’t put any sort of effort into repairing things with Kurt, wanting to get engaged all of a sudden just seems like a ‘I can’t have him so I don’t want anyone else to either’ mentality.
You can’t have Blaine saying that he’s proposing because Kurt is his soul mate and it’s ~fate one moment and then freaking out about Kurt moving on the next.
I don’t think they’re good for each other- Blaine barely even seemed to think about Kurt when he was out of sight in New York but whenever he’s back in Lima, Blaine goes off the rails.
He backs out of asking Kurt in the hallway (dear god why is he always putting Kurt into these kind of public situations??) because he’s unsure. If there was ever a divine sign…
Regionals is next week, even though New Directions has done a whole crapload of nothing to be prepared. This entire episode was about them learning things they could use to prepare a setlist. Not actually making one. (Side note but why doesn’t Glee just take an episode before a big music-heavy episode like Sectionals/Regionals/Nationals and focus on the individual character storylines? Instead of cramming 10 sub-plots into one episode PLUS the theme of the week?)
The end of this season is in sight. I’ve never been so happy.